My Personal Crisis of Faith

When I hit a spiritual “wall" in 2006, I experienced a crisis of faith. It was horrible and unexpected and was prompted by a sudden traumatic event which is detailed in my book. My faith was shaken and I was overwhelmed with questions that had no answers. Questions such as “Why? What are you (God) doing? What do you want from me? Where are you?” God was silent.

Confused and terrified, I did not know what to do. I experienced sleepless nights, anxiety, and depression.  I begged God to kill me. Really.

The question that needed answering was, “Am I going to move forward in my faith and hold onto God and believe that He unconditionally loves me or was I going to walk away from God?” It was time for me to face the truth about myself and that included coming face-to-face with my self-sufficiency, deepest secrets, wounds, doubts, and fears. Everything rested on whether I was going to surrender my will to God's will.  But, the pivotal and most important question was, "Could I surrender my core fear of not being in control totally to God?"

God brought me through the “wall” in His time. Going through the “wall” took courage and a lot of hard work. But, when I emerged on the other side, I did not recognize myself. God had transformed me into someone that I did not recognize. Not only had I survived the grueling “wall” experience, but I had started to heal. Only then did I know my true purpose and believe and trust God’s unconditional love for me.  Subsequently, I had the freedom to love others unconditionally and allow love into my life. Lastly, I only wanted what God wanted for me and it was "all about Him." I had nothing to fear and He was in full control.

If you can identify with my “wall” experience and crisis of faith, please let me come along beside you as you find answers to your piercing spiritual questions, and confront your secrets, wounds, and fears.